I think he does…
I have a laptop computer, same as you.
Unlike you, I may or may not have a rocket car on rails.
One of the many ways we differ is that you are quite clear and earnest about the fact that you do not have a rocket car. You know what you do and don’t have. You allow others to know. I hide in the garage with the shades drawn, doors closed. I sneak out and skulk around, I riff on the idea of rocket cars, how nice they are, and how special the people who own them are.
I like to talk about the speed and elegance of rocket travel, and from time to time I will speak to and interact with you here, and then show up on the news over there. The only answer is a rocket car, I must have a means of travel that would allow me to move at such neck-breaking speed, but you have never seen me with it, you are not even sure that I have a rocket car license.
So here we are, Mexican standoff style. You have to assume I do have a rocket car, you have to, for your own good, and I stand 10 dusty paces upwind, smiling broadly, thumbs in my belt loops, satisfied in knowing that you have reached the conclusion I set out for you. You do not have a whit of doubt, the whole rocket car issue for you is settled.
Who will blink? That’s the game right? You look nervous, whereas I have the ease and grace that only comes through ownership.
What is the harm? If I follow the rules overseeing the safe operation of a rocket car, you will not be put in any kind of danger, you will not be struck and killed, you will be safe as houses.
There will be no difference to you if I have an imaginary rocket car. With crushed velour seats, and a custom steering wheel. Why would you insist on knowing? Are you some kind of masochist?
When dealing with the owner of a rocket car, it is best to observe some very basic safety measures:
1] Line of sight. It is best to keep the operator in your field of view at all times, as rocket cars have been known to fly off the rails and do harm to the operator, and observers of same.
2] Safe distance. Being that rocket cars move so rapidly, they are prone to twitchiness. To turn them, you must be careful to temper the speed and changes in angular momentum.
3] Kisses. Rocket car owners, especially those without hair, are prone to absorb kisses seemingly without end. You could waste your days and nights. Don’t forget rules 1 and 2
So. Like they say in the rocket car guild: “Dude. Rocket car. Sweet”
